Regret
by KagamineRin02
Summary: Len has thought that it was his fault that someone in his family died. He wasted his talents because of that. One day, someone came up to him and helped him realize things he had never realized before. ONE-SHOT!


"Len, you will be skiing with Lenka", mom announced.

"B-but…."

"No buts. Rinto can't go with Lenka because he is younger than you as well. You're the eldest, so you have to take responsibility for watching after your siblings", my mom cut me off, "I will be skiing with Rinto. You and Lenka will meet us down the hill. You would have to ski down the bunny hill because Lenka is still a beginner"

Hi, my name is Len Kagamine, 12 years old. My mom, brother, sister, and I are going skiing today. I love skiing, but not as much as bananas.

It was the start of winter break and I was looking forward to skiing down the hills at full speed. I wanted to try out new moves, but I had to look after my youngest sibling, Lenka Kagamine. She was 8 years old, while my brother, Rinto Kagamine, was 10.

My mother and Rinto headed to their hill. When I knew they were far from enough not to see us, an idea popped-up in my head.

"Hey, Lenka", I started. She turned her head to me, her blonde ponytail swaying with the wind. I continued, "Let's go to that hill over there!" I pointed to a hill with a steep slope and had two jumps.

"But, mom told us to go down the bunny hill!" Lenka protested.

I crossed my arms in a disapproving way. Lenka noticed that I was disappointed and she spoke against her eldest brother. She nodded and went along with what I wanted.

We headed towards my favorite hill. When we reached the hill I told Lenka that she should go first. In her eyes, I saw that she was frightened to go down the hill. A small smile formed on my face.

"Don't worry, I'll go after you", I said.

She inhaled deeply and then exhaled. Lenka went towards the first jump, but fell down at the other side of the jump, which I didn't know about.

For you to be able to go up in the air, you would need to build up speed. You would need a lot of speed and force for that to occur.

After seeing my sister at the other side, I decided to go to the jump. With all my might, I went to the jump and I was in the air. It was awesome!

I kept going, wanting to try out more cool moves, forgetting about my younger sister who were metres behind. I approached the second jump, and this time twirled in the air. I was about to reach the bottom of the hill until something stopped me.

I headed back up the hill to get my sister. If I was down the hill without my sister, my mom would kill me. I was supposed to be taking care of her. I guess after the first jump, I got overboard and only thought about my own fun.

When I reached the second jump, I saw a pile of red snow on top of a petite figure. A part of me felt terrified on what, or _who_, might be underneath it. I took in a deep breath and kept telling myself it wasn't her, it wasn't her, over and over again. With all my courage, I went up to the pile and removed the snow off of the figure.

When I removed the snow from the figure's face, I wanted to hurt myself real badly. I felt regret take over me and my face turned pale. Tears started to run down my cheeks. I was paralyzed at the sight of who it was. The person who I wished it wasn't was the person underneath the pile of stained blood.

Two teenage guys approached me. They explained what happened.

Three of them were skiing down the hill at full speed. When they jumped up the second jump, a young girl went in front of their landing area. She saw them approaching her and froze where she was standing, in shock. The teenagers couldn't move anywhere else due to them still in the air. One of the guys went to the right, the other to the left, leaving one of them nowhere to turn but crash into the girl.

They pointed to a guy who was lying unconscious on the red stained snow. I picked up my sister and hugged her. Regret, pain, and sorrow filled in my heart. None of this would happen if I didn't choose to be selfish and told her to go down this hill.

An ambulance came moments later. A lady with long, salmon-coloured hair approached my sister and me. Kneeling over she politely said, "Sweetie, we will have to take your sister to the hospital now. Please, can you hand her over to me?"

I didn't want to let her go; I couldn't. Looking back up to her, I saw the pain in her eyes, that she understood what's happening in my life like she already experienced it. I stood up and gently placed my sister in her arms. She gave me a sorrowful smile before turning around and placing Lenka on a stretcher.

My mom and brother were talking to the same lady from before. I took a quick glimpse at my mother's face, which had tears spilling out of her eyes. Rinto had a very depressed look as well, but he kept in his tears.

After about 20 minutes of talking with the salmon-haired lady, mom approached me. I immediately sealed my eyes shut, waiting for her to hurt me for causing Lenka to be in this incident and as well as disobeying her.

The impact I expected to happen, didn't happen. Instead, a pair of warm arms wrapped themselves around me. I slowly opened my eyes, figuring out what was happening. The arms belonged to my mother. Her tears soaked my jacket while mines soaked hers. My dad arrived moments later after hearing the news about Lenka's incident.

I went into mom's car, while Rinto went with dad. The ride to the hospital was filled with silence in mom's car. I could see the reflection of sadness in her amber eyes while they were fixed on the road. More regret piled on top of my heart.

* * *

**In the hospital…**

* * *

Rinto and I were sitting down on the chairs outside the emergency room. I watched Rinto's eyes go back and forth watching my mom panic. Our dad was trying to calm her down, saying that everything will be alright, but failed to succeed causing mom to panic more.

An hour passed by. This time, my mom wasn't the only one panicking, but also my dad. I don't know what I would do if my sister won't survive. I know that she lost a lot of blood during the collision.

The light on top of the infirmary door turned off. This was either going to be a good news or bad news, but I kept hoping that it would be good news, that Lenka survived. Again, the lady with salmon-coloured hair came out of the room. By the looks of her expression, this might be the time I was hoping that wouldn't come.

"Excuse me; are you perhaps the parents of Lenka Kagamine?" she asked.

"Yes, we are. My name's Nero Kagamine and she's my wife, Neru Akita Kagamine", dad replied.

"It is nice to meet you. I'm Luka Megurine, the doctor of Lenka Kagamine's operation. The impact that happened to your daughter is mostly directed to her on the head. We're not sure if it will cause her to stay in a coma, lose her memory, or most likely die because of blood loss. The only thing we know is that her condition is very critical and that the only thing we can do now is hope for the best", the doctor, Luka announced.

Everything was my entire fault. The reason Lenka is here now is because of me. The reason why she's going through such state is all because of me.

* * *

_Days later…_

* * *

Days have passed ever since the incident at the ski hill. My whole family has been praying for the best, that Lenka would be able to survive. I thought I would be in terrible trouble, but the only thing that punished me was all the regret that had piled up inside my heart.

I have been praying that her condition would get better, but instead, it got worse. Just yesterday we buried her in the ground. All our friends and family came to comfort us, but it didn't help me at all. Everything I had chosen to be my goal, I decided to hide them and throw them away. It was my entire fault Lenka died right now. My friends tried to help me, but I pushed them away. I don't know what I should do now. I wish this never happened; that I was a much more responsible older brother. I wish I could've been there to protect Lenka, so this would have never happened.

Everything that happened to my youngest sibling was because of me.

School started not so long ago, but all my regret had took over me. Instead of being the nice person I was, I became the bully.

I threw away everything I had. The talents that were given to me were no longer used. All the anger that I had towards myself, I had taken it on to other students.

My friends started to stay away from me. I created other friends who were just like me. They trashed their talents. Mostly, they were just acquaintances. They just helped me make others' lives more miserable like how mine is.

I loved soccer, though. I tried out and I was let in. Right now, I'm actually just practicing in the fields.

A friend, I mean acquaintance, is versing me. I tried to focus on the ball, but I was a little concerned on a certain blonde who was watching us at a corner of the field. I have been noticing her giving me a concerned look ever since I bullied a friend of hers.

* * *

_~Flashback~_

* * *

_3 weeks after I returned to school from the Winter Break, I have been bullying other students who haven't done anything to me at all. I just can't stand the fact I lost Lenka just because of something I wasn't being responsible about. _

_I remember on a day after school was over, I saw a guy who appeared to be my age and looked almost like me, but with raven black hair and at the back, his hair was shoulder-length. He was just leaning on the gates of the school, eventually waiting for someone, while reading a book. I just couldn't think that he could be thinking it would be right to be at peace when what happened to my sister was so tragic._

_I started to go walk up to him and snatched the book away from him, which caught his attention._

_He looked up to me with fear visible in his eyes._

"_Why would you think it would be right to be peaceful when my sister died!?" I yelled at him appearing that it was his fault Lenka died._

_The raven-haired guy started to move to the side, but eventually was cornered by me._

"_Rei!" I voice called._

_The guy before me seemed to relax a bit after hearing the voice. I turned around and saw a girl who had shoulder-length blonde hair with two pins supporting her bangs on her left side. A silky, white bow lay on top of her blonde hair. _

_She reminded me a bit about Lenka. Though, she didn't have long hair tied in a ponytail at the back like my sister and that Lenka didn't have a bow or pins. _

_While I was in my thoughts about the similarities the girl and Lenka had, the guy, Rei I suppose, escaped the corner and headed over to her._

_When I realized this, they were already walking to the opposite direction from where I was. They appeared to be talking about something I do not know about. _

_After that day, that girl seemed to be watching me whenever she caught me bullying someone with a look of sympathy in her eyes. I did not know if she was sending that look to the victim or me; perhaps both of us. I wanted to ask why she seemed too concerned, but I was not sure if she would run away due to the fact I bully and scare others away._

* * *

_~End of Flashback~_

* * *

While I was in my trance, my acquaintance tripped me and stole the ball away from me, which made my blood boil. He cheated in the game I loved the most and I won't accept that.

I ran towards him and tackled him harshly to the ground. I wrapped my hands around his neck, causing his face to turn a dark shade of blue, competing against the color of his cobalt, blue hair. Out of nowhere, my brother, Rinto, came running towards me and pulled me off of my acquaintance. I guy with ember coloured hair approached the guy I was choking and helped him up.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!" Rinto yelled at me, "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!"

I just shrugged and walked over to the roof top of the school. I was just able to hear a small whisper from my younger brother.

"_Why do you have to do this? You don't have to act like this."_

I leaned my back onto the wall of the roof and slid down causing me to sit down. Just how long must I continue to act like this? I haven't thought about my actions for so long. I wish I could change all this. I wish I was able to protect Lenka from what happened months ago.

"Hey", a voice called.

I turned around to see that girl from the field and from before. This was actually the first time she ever talked to me.

"What do you want?" I asked much more harshly than her tone of voice.

"I saw what happened at the field", she replied.

I let out a sigh showing that I wasn't interested.

The girl just sat beside me and gave me a small, genuine smile.

"You're going through a hard time aren't you, Kagamine-kun?" she began.

"How do you know me?" I asked.

Ignoring my question, she continued.

"Why are you wasting your talents? You are very good in soccer and I have seen that, but why do you bully others when you have such great talents that you can share?"

How did she know about such things? She couldn't understand how much it hurts to know that it was all my fault my one and only sister died.

"How would you know that I'm wasting my talents? You do not know why I'm like this", I replied.

"Everything has a reason, Kagamine-kun. Everyone has talents, but you're trying to hide them due to the fact you're upset about something. Your sister, perhaps?" she kindly explained.

This started to frighten me out a bit. How could she know this? Is she a stalker of some sort?

"Stop ruining your life just because of a certain case that happened", she announced.

She doesn't know how much this hurts and she says that!

"I know what you're going through since I had to help my friend out with that case. There's no use to throw everything you had before because of something that happened. Remember, everything has a reason to happen"

"The reason my sister died was because of me! It was my fault! It can't be a reason that happened"

"Kagamine-kun, you must understand that life is a test. There's always a reason something happens. You have hidden your true self behind thick walls of brick. The only thing you show is the regret you have", she explained, "If you don't move on in life, you won't be able to change anything. This will continue to repeat for the worst. Just leave the past in the past and move on to the present"

I never realized anything about what she said until now. I hadn't been punished that Lenka died. My family moved on while I didn't. Others have been avoiding me, and sometimes Rinto as well. This girl was the only one who came up to me and helped me realize everything. She understood me about what happened.

"Th-thank you for helping me realize this, but why are you-"

"Helping you? I can't stand seeing others struggle through the things they can't get past. I want to help them realize the great things in life. I don't want them to ruin their only opportunity of life just because of an incident they never knew would actually happen," she said, "Rei had gone through this situation when his younger sister and him were playing soccer in the streets when the ball rolled in the center. When she was about to get it, she was hit by a car. I don't want to see anyone ruin their own lives because they think it was their entire fault"

She started to get up, but I grabbed her wrist before she had a chance to leave.

"Wa-wait! What's your name?" I found myself asking.

"My name is… Rin Kagami. Pleased to meet you Kagamine-kun. It would be nice if we became friends", she replied.

"Y-you want to be my friend? Even for what I have done?" I asked.

"Of course! I don't want you to feel like you don't belong to any group. Others are actually scared of the fact you're a bully… I want to help you change and to fit in", she answered.

After I let go of her wrist, she walked away.

On that day, I realized that I shouldn't be worrying too much about what happened in the past. Everything happens for a reason and that life was a test and can only be taken once.

Rin helped me learn to become my old self again. She eventually became my first love for helping me to fit in when no one would help me.

I realized that there are things in life that would happen if you would start to look in the present instead of the past. If I hadn't acted like a bully, I would have not been able to meet Rin.

Lenka, where ever you are, I am sorry for not being a good brother, but I hope you are happy where you are. Thank you for helping me realize things I wasn't able to realize if you haven't guided me to someone who would be able to help me. Thank you for wishing me the best. Thank you and I am so sorry Lenka.

* * *

**A/N: My second one-shot!**

**I'm so sorry for not updating for awhile, so I decided to make a long one-shot! I wasn't able to plan Chapter 7 of Miracles, originally called My True Self. I also had lots of tests/exams this week. My grandma is saying I have to limit my time on the computer, so please forgive me!**

**Thank you to those who have favourited or/and followed my stories and/or myself as an author. I have been on fanfiction for more than 2 months and I'm not bored of it yet. **

**I'm sorry if I won't be updating weekly, but at least I have a 2 week break! Oh, and also, ****Belated Happy Birthday to Rurichiyo-chan! I really wanted to update as soon as possible as a gift since I don't know how to give anything to you...**

**I promise to do more better sooner or later. Also, this story was sort of based on a real life story. **

**Moral: Never waste your talents. You never know how long you will have it until it has been taken away.**

**Please review for ideas, suggestions, compliments, or encouragements for me to continue. I'm not sure if I should do Rin's POV, should I? For now I shall keep it as complete.**

**I also need help on making ideas for Chapter 7 of Miracles. If there's anyone there willing to help, please PM me. I really need ideas and suggestions! Also, there is a poll on my profile on who should sing in the story Miracles. If there is a tie, they would sing a duet. Good luck to those Vocaloids!**


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